slut shaming, flogging, and freedom

A friend posted this article yesterday: Does slut-shaming start with school dress codes?  It caught my eye because I’d read another article about the girl in Florida, and because it was a story from Al Jazeera America, and Al Jazeera is based in Qatar.

It’s not news that girls and women are subject to mixed messages about what image they should project. The article says that schools’ ‘hide your body’ message combines destructively with celebrity behavior that suggests women will be empowered by exposing as much skin as possible. The hyperfocus on the ideal (thin, toned, young) body in advertising and media does the same thing.  It’s not just an American problem.  Here’s a sign from the mall here in Doha: 

Here’s a picture of a Barbie display at a toy store in the same mall, at about 5-year-old head height.

The healthiest body environment I’ve experienced was when I worked at a camp where the rule was no body talk.  It prevented girls at the from comparing their bodies at the waterfront or in the cabins, from saying oooh you are so thin, look how fat my thighs are, wow she’s so developed.  Leaving the comparisons and self-criticism behind freed us to celebrate our bodies for all the amazing things they can do. I try to carry this attitude along with me now. 

And then I got curious about whether Al Jazeera had covered anything remotely similar about girls elsewhere in the world and a quick search brought up this article: Enforcing modesty on the poor in Sudan. The immediate consequences for nonconformity to clothing norms are wildly different from Florida to Sudan: public humiliation in the US, arrest and flogging in Sudan. One Sudanese woman, a business owner, was “fortunate” to be arrested and subject to a trial closed to the media because she was not likely to be flogged. The people quoted in the article talk about personal beliefs, how laws on what women should wear unfairly target poor and immigrant segments of the population and the responsibility of the government to uphold human rights- all of which together could be a useful lens for looking at the issues in the American article as well. 

On a personal level, this brings up issues I struggle with here- respecting people’s faith and culture and how they want them manifest in their lives, while believing that people should wear what they want, not be forced or judged by someone else who says they should hide parts of their bodies. I respect that women exercise their own decisions to cover themselves but also agree with the people quoted in the American article that point out that putting the responsibility of boys and men’s actions on girls and women objectifies the woman and, I add, disempowers the men. Over the past year that we have lived in this compound, my older daughter’s friends on our street have been donning hijabs and abayas, one by one, first as practice and then because they must. In our neighborhood I have chosen to completely avoid the subject of covering up while I cheer for kids using their bodies in positive ways  (dancing, biking, jumping, running, swimming) and disagree with anyone who says that they can’t do some physical activity just because they are a boy or a girl or a Muslim or a Christian. 

One fear I have about returning to the USA to live is that I will be so immersed in issues there that I will lose my perspective on what people are caring about and fighting for in other parts of the world. We have a culture of protest and sensationalism in the USA and it’s easy to get wrapped up in the high drama of inequality and mistreatment, believing that the future of freedom and democracy is at stake, if there is even any hope for it left.  I’m not saying stop being such drama queens, stop taking action.  I’m pointing out that the very act of being such drama queens and our ability to take action are signs that we are still on the right track and we have more freedom than we realize, to be able to discuss issues and make change, from the street on up through the social and news media and all the way to local and national government.  We also have freedom and opportunity to provide a safe haven for people who face more extreme consequences for nonconformity in their home country. What is a huge deal in the US might have limited relevance in other countries, where people are still working on basic human rights. Sometimes there are parallels, though, and opportunities to learn from how each community is examining and coping with the issues.